Hello internet. I don't understand you, and you don't understand me, but now that we have to co-habitate, I suggest that at least one of us is always at least moderately sedated. I volunteer.
I guess the reason I'm here is because a lot of people tell me that I say a lot of stupid things, and that by saying stupid things publicly, maybe I can force people to like me. Like those girls who sleep with everyone, only with typing... so what I'm getting at is that after reading this you may want to get your eyes checked for chlamydia.
Just saying.
Here's a joke to break the tension, since this isn't going so well...
So a Chinese man walks into a bar. He slips on a banana peel but instead of falling down he just keeps spinning around and around and around. Finally, he's able to grab onto the bar counter and stop the spinning. When he looks up at the bartender he's just a white guy. The bar tender is bewildered and says "Oh my god! What just happened to you? Weren't you Chinese a minute ago??" The man says "I must have gotten disoriented."
Ba-doom-chhhh.
You loved it.
I know you did.
I guess since I'm introducing myself I should also tell you a little about myself and warn you of what the future might hold for any people who decide to torture themselves with this little page more than once. I'm a mother of one, I sing in a really trashy punk rock band, live with a sexy undead circus mutant man in the backyard of some people I think are wonderful, and sometimes, at night, when no one's looking, I sleep.
Just kidding.
Who has time for that shit?
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